i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
