Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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