dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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