You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
