i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
