my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
