Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
