Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
