She announced her abortion via fbk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
