he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
