I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
