i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
