P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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