i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I supernannyed him into submission
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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