You made me cry and you don't even care
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
