I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
