Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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