Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
