So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
