An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
