Pants 0. Shit 1.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
