I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize
