some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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