I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
