Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
