I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
