I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
