You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
