You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
