I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
