like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He better not be in your backpack
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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