Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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