know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
