Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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