you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize