she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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