do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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