I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
