But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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