Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
