She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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