Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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