Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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