The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
