I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
