the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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