i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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