bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
