somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
