I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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