look no pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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