But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
