I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Panties = found
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize