Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
