Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
