I can tuck mytits in my pants
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
