she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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