ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Come on in and take your pants off
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