Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
