That's intense
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
