As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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