My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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