4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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