I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
