I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize