please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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