So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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