dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
