We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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