i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
