Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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