i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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