this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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