Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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